Saturday, September 7, 2013

Other Woman Got the Kids, I Got the Drama

Before I get into this post where I rant and rave about single dads and other women and their drama, I should say this: 

I can't say that any of my relationships were as healthy as I'd like them to be. However, I do admit I owe some of the men I dated an apology for one thing. I will get more into that in a different post, though. Scroll below this timeline photo to read more. 

I might sound like I'm angry and bitter. I'm not trying to be. It's just that life has become quite disappointing the past few years. All that I worked toward -- a happy, healthy life and hopefully some day financial stability, marriage and a family -- is shot. 

If you know anything about my relationship history, I dated a lot of single dads who were still too afraid of getting hurt to allow me to be really a part of their lives and not just in the background:

I'd be rich if I had a dollar for every time a guy I liked vented, "I gave her everything and she cheated on me!"

For awhile I played the "supportive friend who could wait forever to get married" just so one needy man or another could have someone to talk to. However, in the process, I started to feel used. 

I have no idea why it would always happen this way but it did. I always met men who were wounded and heartbroken and expected me to accept that he couldn't give me what he gave the last person he was with.

For the most part it didn't bother me. I don't really expect or need a lot. However, in the grander scheme of it all, it really does kind of piss me off. 

Here I am pouring myself out to a man who has almost nothing emotionally to give to me in return. It's not that I really expected much from a man as my photo above portrays, but I've been given quite a few guilt trips by men I dated all because I might want more than what they could give. 

If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't have wasted so much time with so many needy men:

I wasn't selfish for wanting my own man, home, kids, etc. They were selfish for not understanding that I deserve to have just as much as what they gave the last person they were with. 

I put my life on hold for people who may have had feelings for me. However, I should've never felt obligated to piss my life away on them. Now because of it I might never have children of my own.