Saturday, March 10, 2012

I Doubted Myself But…

I must admit there is times when I doubted myself. I doubted whether or not I could be a good wife or if I was capable of raising children. On the other hand, I also felt as though it would be a bloody freaking miracle in a cold day in hell if certain men I knew could actually have faith in women at all.

I know that I have to deal with certain insecurities in that respect. Still, I also have to choose to stop pining over people who are not going to ever be happy with a woman no matter what. I honestly don’t know what some of the men I dated expected from me especially since some of them had the exact same faults and weaknesses as me.

I highly doubt everything in their past relationships was the woman’s fault. If they treated the women they used to be with with as much indignation as they treated me it’s no wonder it didn’t work out. Now, for the men who told me their spouses cheated, that is wrong and there’s no excuse.

However, it’s hard for honest women to make it in this world. We get rejected all the time and it’s usually because of someone that came before me. I know I shouldn’t get mad so easy or shouldn’t take rejection so hard but sometimes I just get tired of being rejected because of past hurts.

I literally feel like I have to pay for the sins of the women who came before me, but guess what? I’m not Jesus. I shouldn’t have to pay! The women who did this particular wrong should pay not me.