Saturday, March 10, 2012

I Didn’t Mind Indecisiveness Before, But Now I Do!

When I was younger I didn’t take life that seriously. Therefore, I honestly didn’t mind if a guy didn’t know for sure if he wanted to be with me. I used to think also it was the “Christian” thing to do to just love a person and not expect anything in return-not even certainty.

However, there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I want to love without expecting anything in return but I also don’t want to be a doormat. At this point in my life if my only two choices were to be single for the rest of my life or continue in a relationship with an indecisive, fickle person I’d rather just be single.

Thankfully, I am starting to meet men who are more decisive-who actually do want a relationship with me. Now I can choose among them rather than among the fickle ones from the past. I am more receptive to this type of person than the ones who seem to not have any respect for themselves or respect for me.

I should be clear that I realize people have legitimate reasons for not being able to be in a serious relationship right now,  but…

I will no longer hang onto the kind of person who decides maybe some day a week after the twelfth of never we may possibly be able to make a life together. I am no longer willing to allow people to hang onto me because I or he is just lonely.

That does not mean that none of the persons I was with never had feelings for me. It just means I need to open myself up for the kinds of people who are ready for a relationship-or rather one person who is ready for a relationship at the same time I am.

Of course, the challenge with that is in actually having feelings for the less fickle people. That’s hard. I’ve always been attracted to unstable men who expected me to be their rock and when they found out I have issues too I wasn’t any good for them. At least that’s how I felt-like I had to be the strong one and if I wasn’t then I would get dumped.

Along those lines, I’m sure I shattered a few dreams of the men who were looking for the “perfect” woman. I’m far from perfect and if perfection is what they are after-even though they have loads of issues of their own-than so be it. Go ahead men. Find that perfect personal female jesus and hopefully she will truly be your savior.

Me on the other hand, all I ever wanted was a down-to-earth man who loves me. I also wanted a person who doesn’t try to control me or doesn’t try to get me to believe that I’m just “so so” just because I don’t fit the perfect model of today’s celebrity woman.

Yes, Some Men Really Are That Shallow