Monday, November 7, 2011
Don't Cope with Loneliness by Accompanying 'Misery'
One of the easiest things to do when you are lonely is to make it worse by also being miserable. Being miserable usually happens when you as a lonely person hang around someone who is very negative all the time. Usually the miserable person you are hanging around is your new boyfriend or your new girlfriend.
Signs of Negativity
The person you are hanging around expresses negativity in a variety of ways on a regular basis. For one, they may always be talking about the bad things their ex did to them, or how that person hurt them (the person you are now dating).
Or, they may always be talking about how people cannot be trusted and why they are so skeptical about love. Some men may even seem aloof, uninterested, or demeaning. They also may be too into themselves to even notice much about you.
Worst of all is the kind of men who want to criticize everything you do-as if nothing you do is right or as if he always knows better, not you. If he does this, he could even be potentially abusive.
What To Do about a Negative Person
Sometimes you might need to take a break from that person. You also may need to confront that person and say "hey I realize you are hurting and that you have issues and I want to try to understand you. However, sometimes I need to feel positive and just to enjoy life and have fun. You need to learn how to have fun."
After you have confronted the person, you may consider taking a few days, a week, or longer to allow the miserable person time and space. You will be amazed at the transformations that are made during this time.
What Happens when you Give a Miserable Person Space
Usually if a person who is miserable realizes he or she is affecting you that person will begin to become more positive at least temporarily. (You cannot expect them to be wonderful people all the time because people go through trials and tribulations all the time.)
The person who is down all the time will begin to realize that they are not the only persons on this earth. They will even thank you once they no longer feel rejected because you don't seem to love them for wanting to not be around them like that.
It May Not Always Work, But It's Worth a Try
Giving 'misery' space is not always going to work. Some people just never learn no matter how you try to deal with the situation. However, in most cases a miserable person will be able to adjust and expand his or her social horizons so they are not always dependent upon you.