Thursday, October 20, 2011

What 'He's Such a Nice Guy' Doesn't Mean to Me

You hear people say all the time 'he's such a nice guy' but did you ever stop to consider what being a nice guy really means? You can click at the link provided in the previous sentence to learn more.

In the mean time, here's another point to ponder: Have you ever considered what being a nice guy doesn't mean?

Nice guys are often considered “boring” and “unattractive” (even if they are attractive physically). Here's the real reasons why...

~~Often they don't have a backbone when it comes to un-reciprocated (or under-reciprocated) romance. They are the type that are willing to sit around and be a woman's “friend, buddy, old pal” to a woman even if she has made clear she is attracted to him.

However, there is more to this. The nice guy just sits around for years and years passing up other opportunities to date just because of her.

In the mean time, woman takes his friendship for granted-that he will always be there and that availability takes away all the excitement and drama. After all, it's not like he is rejecting her. A nice guy being too available causes her to lose her attraction for him.

This begs the question: If a nice guy is less available to her a woman he likes would she be more attracted to him? It depends...

In some cases, the woman has not necessarily made it clear she is not interested, or maybe just never really thought about him that way yet. This could be because the guy is so passive he may never even directly asked her out. That is probably one reason for the woman's mixed messages.

~~The other factor to this is that she may be on the rebound from a bad relationship and needs a friend to talk to. She may think she is not interested, but really is just not ready.

Another issue: She may try to date the nice guy for awhile, but then clings onto his friendship and but determines she is not attracted to him.This is all good and fine, but the guy wants more and never stands up to the woman.

The result is he is all alone, giving up all his time for a woman who may not even be into him. He is a good friend, but he is also wasting his time.

The solution: The nice guy should just be direct, honest, and blunt-and then move on! He could say, “Look, I know you don't want to lose me as a friend but I need a break to get over this. I need to find someone who really is into me.”

If he says something of his nature she might suddenly realize she is losing the chance at something great. However, there is no guarantee. If the woman truly is not interested in him she may not flinch much when he says this. In this case, it would be time for him to move on.

On the other hand, if she notices that other women are taking interest, she may realize she does care. Then, she may finally show interest in him before it's too late. However, this may never happen if the guy is way too nice.

~~~Nice guys also just let women walk all over them! Some of them will even take a woman out and pay for everything even if she “just wants to be friends.” He might do it for the wrong reasons at times-thinking he can buy her love.

However, one day he is going to have to realize he shouldn't be everyone's doormat. He may also realize he is wasting his time trying to court a woman who just wants to be friends. Yet, he passes up opportunities to date women who do like him!

If a nice guy ever wants to get married he needs to take a stand. He should not let women use them! A nice guy may possibly be like the woman who loves the wrong people way too much. He may need to train his mind and emotions to be in love with a single and available woman with less drama.