Saturday, October 22, 2011

Life is too Short to Stay Bitter (But also to Accept Second Best)

Sometimes we as humans cannot help but harbor hurt feelings towards people who have hurt us. However, there are certain events that can remind us life is too short to stay bitter forever. At the same time, we also have only one life to live and we have to believe we have the right not to settle for second best.

Life may not always go our way in the process of striving to live it the best way we know how. In spite of all of that we cannot keep storing angry, vengeful, and bitter feelings. Pettiness and differences have got to go, as this is actually the number one killer of what could otherwise be a great relationship.

One event that causes me to change my priorities:

Today my mom's side of the family had a celebration of what would have been my grandpa's 100th birthday if he was still alive. This ceremony took place at the same site where my grandma and grandma both are now buried, and incidentally my grandma passed away just a little over three months ago.

It was this celebration in remembrance of my grandparents that reminds me of how short our time here is on earth. The time was even short for my grandma, who lived just six years short of an entire century.

When I remember how my grandparents were in it for the long haul as far as being together, I realize how petty and prideful I can be. Therefore, if there is anything that I can do to make any relationship I am in better I will.

At the same time, I do not want to settle for second best. I will do my best to change my ways and be more of the right kind of person to whomever I am with. However, I also believe life is too short to remain in a mediocre, unsatisfying, or abusive relationship.

The key here is balance between standing up for yourself and doing your part in your relationships: 

I am not sure exactly how to explain this except to say that there is a find line between discontentment within yourself and a truly unhealthy relationship. No relationship is ever going to be perfect, and in the end you and your partner have to decide where to draw the line.

Either you have to accept each other for who you are as you allow each other room to grow and change, or you have to move on. You cannot change one another, but if your relationship is not going the way you want you can change yourself.

Then, if the other person is not behaving in the way you want you have a choice. You can stay or you can leave. It's up to you. Either way, life is too short to not forgive.