Friday, October 21, 2011

It's Ironic! After being in Love Six Times...

How ironic it is that after being in love six times I am now with a many I am not even sure I love. Sometimes it feels like God really hates me. I sometimes question why he makes life so hard for me.

However, I still refuse to blame myself for all my relationship failures even though I made my share of mistakes. I am sometimes not the easiest woman to get along with, but then again I don't want to take anyone's crap-and don't feel I should have to.

I refused to be a doormat and now because of it I either face the possibility of spending my my 40th birthday (in two and a half years) alone, or I settle. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I am starting to wonder if true love even really matters any more.

I am sure it does. However, I am starting to doubt whether any one of the six exes or countless crushes I had were ever meant to be. Some people are so lucky when it comes to love. I have just not yet been one of them.

I hope I do find true love soon though. My family and friends are starting (from my perspective) to wonder what's wrong with me. I also hope I find true love before my "Dump that Jerk" readers think I am a total fraud.

But, in my defense some people are lying con artists. This makes it very difficult to find the one.
Incidentally, I am in a relationship but feel depressed that I may have to end it because I don't think I'm in love with him. Not looking forward to the possibility of one of my other exes finding out I am single and having them come to me looking for a free piece of action!

Go figure.  I get tired of dating total anus-holes so I become one myself!