Monday, September 19, 2011

Why it's Difficult to Know who is “The One” (About Lying Con Artists)

There are many women these days who are between the ages of 35 and 40 years old who are still single. Is it because they want to be? For most of them not really.

Is it because something is wrong with them? Well, although most women of this small age range do have some issues it is more than likely that they are for the most part not at fault.

They might have issues with clinginess or maybe they are too pushy when it comes to demanding commitment or marriage. However, there is one very important issue pertaining to women of this age who have not found “the one” yet.

The Challenge of Finding “The One”

One huge hurtle a woman has to jump over is the ability to trust. This can be very hard though, for one main reason. Many men are nothing but lying con artists. They will talk about marriage early on in a relationship but do not even want to give women their real phone number.

It is the players and liars of this world that make it difficult for women to know and understand their true destiny. However, there is a way around this.

Beat the Con Artists!

It is possible to beat the con artists at their own game. No matter how sweet they talk about marriage, kids and so on you as a woman should hold out as long as possible when it comes to "giving them what they want". Do not trust men who bring these subjects up prematurely.

Not all of them are “out to get you” but beware because I would venture to guess at least half of the men of this world are. Get to know a guy and look for signs that he really wants to be with you before you even think of “putting out” to him.

Here are some clues that a man means business:

  • He calls you at least a few times a week during the early stages of dating.

  • You and him gradually spend more time together without him freaking out.

  • He accepts you at your best and at your worst.

  • His actions back up his words, especially if he starts to talk about love and marriage.

Further Explanation: Talk versus Action

I once was dating a man who was afraid to tell me he loved me, except for when he was drinking. However, he was right about one thing. Love definitely is about actions and not words.

If a man hardly lets you in at all he probably does not love you or has no intention of having a serious relationship with you. I had a man who never wanted to go anywhere in public with me, for instance. I also had men who would tell me they loved me only to next week break up with me.

If I had a choice between a guy never telling me he loves me or telling me he never wants to get married and/or have kids and a guy who just lies to get his way, I'd take the former. Give me the guy who does not talk smack about marriage and/or kids too early in the relationship and I will respect him any day. It is sad to say but true.

Now, if a guy you have been seeing regularly for maybe a few months or longer starts to talk to you about marriage, that is different. A person like that has reasonable expectations and does not necessarily try to rush you into a serious relationship. Just beware of the kinds of people who try to lure you in by using marriage or kids as a bait to hook you in and throw you back out.

I may at some time in my life say more about this. I can share some of my own experiences to clue you in. But for now hopefully you have some insight on how to tell who is “the one” from someone who is just a lying con artist.