Tuesday, September 20, 2011

It's not Always a Lost Cause: Clearing up Relationship Misunderstandings

I should say I had vented quite a bit on this blog over a period of a few years. I should tell you though that sometimes the venting is about a fluid situation that could otherwise change.

For instance, awhile ago I wrote about ultimatums and how unhealthy they are. I also wrote about respect, especially sexual respect. I should say that I have been in some situations where a man has actually changed.

It is not always a lost cause. So what is the secret?

Sometimes a relationship can be somewhat rocky in the beginning. Two different people (even if they have quite a bit in common) are battling for control. It is only human nature for most people to want the upper hand.

I believe in one concept that I have actually practice with a great deal of success. That is, if you assert yourself early on in a relationship that you are not going to let someone walk all over you, the person will not be as likely to advantage of you. It is a matter of respect and you have to show the person you are with that you demand respect.

The earlier you show your significant other that you mean business when it comes to being respected the less likely they will be to try to hurt you in any way. I am saying this because I think perhaps about 80% of the people in this world really do have some shred of a conscience.

I would say as long as the individual who is not a total sociopath unwilling to even apologize at all and has demonstrated positive change there is hope. You should be assertive up front though, even after the first few dates while not acting and confronting in too aggressive of a manner.

Why even give people a chance?

Well, only because I have issues too. Needless to say, after ranting and raving at three in the morning I no longer drink a dozen beers and walk around the downtown courthouse at this hour. I have to change myself too so I do not want to be too hard on people. However, everyone still deserves respect.