Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Compromise: A Practical Solution
All relationships should be a balance of give and take and a woman should be thought of as equal, not beneath a man. The woman should also not be treated like a second class citizen, as if she is incapable of making any of her own decisions or incapable of making any sound choices.
(The reverse is true as well. The man should be treated with respect and his thoughts, ideas, and opinions should also be valued.)
A woman should also not be treated like she has no right to be happy and no right to ask for compromise versus declaring demands and ultimatums. However, I should also not this is not just about men to women. The reverse respect from women to men is also needed as many women need to be kinder to men.
Neither the man or the woman should be giving to the other all the time while the other person just takes, and takes, and takes. This is control, not compromise, and this type of onesidedness is one main relationships fail.
Relationships where one person wants to control or manipulate rather than have a two-sided discussion is one not built on the art of compromise. In this kind of relationship one or both of the partners are unable to agree to a solution that makes both parties happy.
In fact, many relationships are not built on compromise at all. What happens in many cases is one person tries to stand up for his/her rights but then is constantly shot down by the other person. The person who is being confronted may even pretend to be willing to work a relationship out.
However, deep down inside the person who is confronted is always looking for a reason everything should be his way (or her way if she is the stubborn one). The more stubborn one in the relationship may even be convinced that he/she really is trying to work out the relationship.
However, somewhere subconsciously at least that individual who has a hard time working out a compromise wants everything to be on his/her terms. The only time when you should not seek compromise, however, is when you feel your values are being ignored. You have a right to be heard, and you have a right to take a stand.