Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm Not Your Stepping Stone-Anymore!


The song by the Monkees called "(I'm not your) Stepping Stone" is one that is very true to life to me. This song is more than just about relationships. It also has some political messages in it. However, I always have felt like I was used as some sort of stepping stone.

Maybe I was used to get another woman jealous. Maybe I was used as a person to help build a man's confidence until he found someone he thought was prettier, funnier, or whatever other quality a woman may have that I lack. It could be also that the guy is or was immature and just looking for the closest body to shag.

It might could come from the fact that I always was told not to appear to be too anxious to get married or not to appear too needy. In the process needy men would break up with me if I wasn't ready for marriage the second they ask, even if it was only a short time he and I were together.

No matter what the reason was that I was just someone's transition woman, I do not want to be anyone's stepping stone any more. I am no longer going to be the person who is only good enough to be a stop between one long-term relationship to the next . The next person I will end up with is someone who is going to value me and take me more seriously.

Update 10/21/2011

I am in a relationship now were the man actually wants me around. We hang out more than two times a week. In fact, I have to try to find a way to get some space from him sometimes. I can overlook a little bit of clinginess though, especially after feelings so taken for granted in the past.