Saturday, November 27, 2010

Being the One with the Dates for a Change: Right or Wrong, it Felt Good

Original Post Date: 11/27/2010 Revised: 10/21/2011

Right or wrong, I must admit though for awhile I was engaged in a lot of risky, potentially unhealthy dating behaviors one thing felt very good. It felt good for a change to be the one with someone while some of my exes were all alone.

The reason why is because when I was in my high school years and early 20s I felt like a nobody-too shy. The ironic thing was when I was in my 20s I only weight 134 pounds. This was less than I was now and even when I was in high school, and lately I have had more dates then even when I was thin.

It was probably not such healthy behavior to jump from person to person like I did for awhile. However, one of the reasons why I did it is I was so tired of being alone all the time. And as I said it felt good to have someone when exes of mine were single.

So What Now?

I am on a path to recovery. I am on a quest to draw closer to God, but of course it is and will not be easy for me because I went down the wrong road for quite a number of years. 

Still, when I reach a place of peace and resolution during my recovery process, at the right time my true soul mate will show up. I will be ready for him when he comes. Some may wonder how I know he will come. Well, God told me six years ago I would not "meet the one for me until I am alone with Him."

About a year and a half ago I was alone with God and just making an attempt to turn back to him. And someone I had not seen in quite a number of years showed up in my life. However, I was not totally sure if that counted or not because I was only alone with God for one weekend when he found me.

So, I figured I'd wait awhile to make sure. And if it turns out I really was wrong thinking he was the one then at least I know the next person will be. Crazy right? However, even though I might still make some of the same stupid mistakes over and over again I still believe in destiny.