Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Never Make Someone Your Priority Who thinks of You as an Option

I saw a great saying a while back that reads something like this: "never make someone your priority that is making you [his or her] option." That saying has helps re-enforce what I have been thinking all along lately.

Perhaps I am putting too much time and energy into people that really don't care as much about me as I would like to think they do. I realize now that I no longer want to expend emotional energy where it would be wasted.

I also am not willing to put more emotionally into a relationship than someone is willing to put into me. In fact, I can write a whole list of things I will no longer be willing to do:

~~Won't cut time short with family on holidays-I will no longer be willing to cut my time short with my family in order to be with someone' else's family on the holidays. I don't think I should have to limit the stay at my mom's house to one or two hours and then have to spend all day at someone else's house.

~~Won't feel guilty about who I am-I will never allow him to use any number of excuses why we should (once again) do what he wants to do. I also will no longer feel guilty about him wanting to appreciate my likes/dislikes as much as I appreciate his.

~~Won't ever bail him out-I will never spend more money on him than he does on me. I will also not get wrapped up in trying to help him out financially, especially since right now I am working on taking better care of myself in that department.

~~Won't get wrapped up in him-I will not be intimate with someone that I don't feel comfortable being like that with. I also will not get wrapped up feeling all his emotions and feeling sorry for him while he is hardly ever there for me.

~~Won't expect much from him-I won't ever again expect very much from a man. I won't even expect much when he tells me he loves me, wants to get married, wants to have my children, etc. Often it's nothing but bull gun. I will only believe he really wants those things if he actually takes a
genuine interest in my life, family, and other important things. If he doesn't there is no way I will never believe him.

~~Won't give up my entire life-This concept was inspired by the fact that I was dating someone who hardly ever wanted to take me any where. He would never take long trips with me and he would always have a number of excuses why he wouldn't/couldn't go somewhere with me. I will never again allow that in my life.

~~I won’t live according to his schedule-In the past, I spent so much energy obsessing about making time for someone who probably doesn't’t even care of he ever sees me. I also spent too much time criticizing a man for not being there for me as often as I would like.

~~I won’t let him put me down-If a man wants to try to send a message that I could never do anything well enough for him he has another thing coming!

I am sure I can and if he doesn't appreciate it there will always be someone else who will. Even if there is no one else I would rather